Lamp Shade Birdy

the time has come

2011-03-09T00:12:00.002-05:00

im switching to tumblr because my layout keeps getting messed up on here.

enjoy:

lampshadebirdy.tumblr.com

dis(s)

2011-03-08T23:47:00.000-05:00

broken birdie wing, can't quite seem to sing...

I'm a bit disappointed in myself right now. I fed into some drama that I should've just left alone. it was very personal though. i was more flattered than anything, but my pride is of tremendous heights. need to work on that.

tasteless

2011-03-08T06:40:00.002-05:00

sleeping on the moon and dreaming on the sun
hot cold
hot cold
I like the cold
the heat hurts my life
atoms and explosions
my brain and my heart
stay out of both and fall in the sewer's mouth
he thinks you taste good
but he spits out your soul

yerrr

2011-03-07T17:31:00.002-05:00

yumyum

Cry cry cry

2011-03-07T14:19:00.001-05:00

A list of musical acts (dead or alive) that would bring tears to my eyes and move my heart if I saw them live:

~Jeff Buckley
~Prince
~Bjork
~The Smiths / Morrisey
~Radiohead
~John Frusciante
~David Bowie
~Jimi Hendrix
~Elliot Smith
~Nujabes
~Bob Dylan
~Bob Marley
~Nirvana
~Sonic Youth
~Patti Smith
~Joy Division

And I'm sure there's more, but this is off the top of my head.

Ribs

2011-03-05T00:27:00.001-05:00

cut through trees and ride through rocks;
and synchronize the universal sun down to my watch. <3

time for another random thought list

2011-03-03T12:40:00.001-05:00

~ Miette snores. never knew I would actually think snoring could be cute.

~ I've decided that I'm going to keep the left side of my head shaved, long bangs, grow out the rest, and try to dread my hair again in the summer.

~ I wish women would respect themselves and their bodies. you don't have to be (half) naked to get attention.

~ I forgot how good of a show "my so called life" was.

~ I can't wait until spring has sprung. this weird weather is killing my allergies.

~ I can't wait to start my feather extension business (if you don't know, Google image search that shit).

~ meditation has been my savior.

~ ppl who don't forgive are weak minded individuals.

~ I still need to hear that new Radiohead.

~ getting drunk has become silly to me.

~ I need to start writing more.

~ I need to read one book at a time. I'm reading like four books right now.

~ I'm getting tattooed next week for the first time in a year.

~ I have mad gray hairs.

~ it's so weird to own my own car again. I hate driving, but need to me able to get around now that I have a child.

~ I adore early to mid 90s fashion. think The Craft, My So Called Life, Saved By the Bell, Punky Brewster.

BAbabazah

two months

2011-03-01T20:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday marked two months old for Miette. I can't believe how fast two months came and went. In the past week she has started smiling socially. it's the prettiest smile you ever did see. she is also extremely vocal for her age. she's such a happy baby. Her baby hair has fallen out a lot, and I'm anxious to see what color it will grow in. my cousin Patrice had black hair when she was born, and when it grew back, it was red. It's so strange that I gave birth to a blond haired, blue eyed baby lol. At least she has my fat cheeks. hah. Her eyes have gotten bluer, so I'm pretty confident that they'll stay that way. she has long, beautiful eyelashes that curl, but they're bleach blond. as are her eyebrows. she is changing so much everyday. Tomorrow, I'm going to start giving her tummy time. I'll probably only start with about 5-10 minutes, because she doesn't really like to be on her tummy. she'll only lay on her tummy comfortably if she is exhausted after eating and laying on my chest. I can't wait for the day where she lets out a real belly laugh, however if things stay the way they are, the time will fly too quickly.
loving life nowadays. <3

summer gypsy

2011-02-28T12:58:00.002-05:00

• Put your ITunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
• For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
• YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
• Tag 20 friends.
• Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
• Have fun!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY', YOU SAY?
"to the stars! to the moon" Le Loup

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Cuckoo for Caca" Faith No More

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"everything in it's right place" radiohead

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"and i'm gone" prefuse 73

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"babe" - glassjaw

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
"roygbiv" - boards of canada

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"ruby" - mount kimbie

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"striving for protection" - raekwon

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"beyond the beyond" - rjd2

10. WHAT IS 2+2?
"price of gas" - bloc party

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"nylon smile" - portishead

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"can't find my way home" - sneaker pimps

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"carbonated" - mount kimbie

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"good lovin outside" - animal collective

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"the prettiest sea slug" - blockhead

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"rhythm sticks" - blackalicious

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"things you can do" - tv on the radio

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"industrial warfare" - the dynospectrum

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"visual music" - fat jon

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
"marla" - grizzly bear

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"ladies love chest rockwell" - lovage

22. WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS NOTE?
"summer gypsy" - nujabes

feel good

2011-02-25T22:17:00.001-05:00

always a classic

birdday art

2011-02-25T13:31:00.000-05:00

the ridiculously talented man of mine painted me the most amazing picture for my bday.

witness:

effing gorgeous.

<3

new makeup portfolio

2011-02-24T16:48:00.000-05:00

I'm in the midst of beginning a new makeup portfolio, and so far, so good.
i would eventually like to do dramatic high fashion photo shoots and fashion shows, so i'm working on really funky and colorful color schemes.
earlier in the week, i did 3 different color schemes on my girl see are bee.
they came out great.

here is the start:

and this is going to be the cover of my port:

Old broad

2011-02-24T08:21:00.001-05:00

Today I turned twenty-seven.
the fact that I'm almost 30 is unfathomable!
but I'm extremely lucky.
I have the most amazing daughter and a beautiful boyfriend (inside and out) and wonderful friends and a beyond loving family. I've really learned to appreciate all that I have.
the boyf got me a hat, candy, wrote me a beautiful letter, and painted me the most breathtaking picture ever. I'll post it on here asap.
today is going to be a great day... no matter how old I feel.
truly blessed and couldn't ask for more.
<3

a to b

2011-02-23T08:38:00.001-05:00

In a few weeks I will be the (kind of) proud owner of a 2006 Honda Element.
the reason I am only kind of proud is because I find the Element quite on the ugly side. but I can't complain. I'm getting it for free, it drives well (even in snow), and it's great on gas.
So if you see me riding around in a spaceship, say what up.

Let us be lovers...

2011-02-20T20:42:00.001-05:00

we'll marry our fortunes together.

Throw beez

2011-02-20T19:33:00.001-05:00

I am thinking it's a sign
that the freckles in our eyes
are mirror images
and
when we kiss
they're perfectly aligned.

Words of wisdumb

2011-02-19T15:42:00.001-05:00

The universe is a beautiful place. don't take life for granted. there is beauty in all things. the secret is knowing how to find it, but it's always there. always send out positive vibes and positive energy pray for negativity to reverse itself my experiences have made me one with myself and everyone else however it took awhile. be in the now and cherish every moment take advantage of the sun and don't sleep on the sky. love yourself and everything else will fall into place. <3

weekend wars

2011-02-16T20:46:00.001-05:00

The vee

2011-02-14T21:41:00.001-05:00

Yellow roses
chocolates
homer simpson card
candy lips
lyrics
painting
love

a wonderful vday. I've turned into someone who appreciates flowers. weird.
having Miette here is the best present of all. <3

Last night

2011-02-13T20:22:00.001-05:00

I was told that I have by far the best, most eclectic taste in music of anyone around.

uhdoy

;0P

recent flickers

2011-02-11T15:56:00.000-05:00

Mimilex flicks

2011-02-11T15:48:00.000-05:00

recents:

past is prologue

2011-02-11T15:31:00.001-05:00

the sweetest girl that ever lived

2011-02-08T14:38:00.001-05:00

here is Mimi at 6 weeks old.
she is such an angel.
here is the proof... just listen to those sweet sounds.
<3

My beautiful spawn

2011-02-04T22:05:00.001-05:00

heaven on earth

2011-01-31T22:58:00.000-05:00

perfect.
<3

Just a thought

2011-01-31T08:32:00.001-05:00

I feel bad for people who hold grudges, even after the person they hold the grudge against apologizes.
it takes way more energy to dislike someone than to just be civil.
and it's pretty bad for your karma too.

Random-itis

2011-01-31T07:01:00.001-05:00

I love my half shaved head. I'm totally letting the other side grow ridiculously long and keeping the shaved part.

my life now consists of changing poopie diapers, making bottles, 2 or 3 hrs of sleep at a time, and not being able to go out much... and I'm loving every minute of it.

I think Mimi is going to be an advanced baby. she's already smiling early, tries to hold her bottle, and can pretty much hold her head up. I was an advanced baby. I was speaking in full sentences by 1 yrs old, walked early, and taught myself to read.

how come in movies there's always a cat stuck in a tree and the owner has to call the cops or fire fighters to get it down? I've never in my life heard of this actually happening.

I wish people would stop believing everything they read on Facebook.

my daughter only cries if she's super hungry. I lucked out.

whatever happened to Junior
Floyd?

instant netflix is probably one of the most amazing inventions ever.

can broads please stop wearing Uggs already?

I can't wait to be totally healed from c-section surgery so I can take dance classes again.

I feel like I'm way too concerned with finding new music to listen to. my musical taste is amazing, I must say.

I've always loved listening to dnb/jungle in the morning. always puts me in a good mood and wakes me up.

I want to collect vinyl. I already have a pretty wonderful collection from the 60s / 70s that my mom passed down to me. Led Zep and The Who's Tommy being my favorite.

Prince has performed quite a few shows the past month or so and of course it's when I had no way of being able to go.

why has nobody made a movie abt Jeff Buckley's life starring James Franco yet?

hiphop will always be my number one love. I know more abt it than most.

la vita e bella.

a month already!

2011-01-30T19:15:00.000-05:00

January 28th (this past friday) marked Miette turning one month old! I can hardly believe it. I can't believe the love I feel for this little girl. She truly saved my life. Where was I a year ago? I had just started dating Frankie and I was still partying. Funny thing is, I don't miss it. At all. Sure, I'll go out every once in awhile for special occasions and when my mom agrees to babysit (i'd only let her, my grandma, and my aunt watch her). She is so precious. I'm sure I've said this since she's been born, but it's truly astounding how much you can love someone. I never felt this before. And I've always loved hard, but this is like insanity. When she cries (which isn't often, really only when she's hungry. she's such a good baby... so far lol), it makes me want to cry. When I'm (bottle) feeding her and she stares into my eyes, it's the best feeling. She's starting to smile socially now, and it is the greatest smile ever. You know how people say stuff like, "I'd die for him/her", "I'd do anything for him/her", "I'd take a bullet for him/her" ? Well, I've said things like that before, but it doesn't compare to how you feel about your child. It's like those words had no meaning before, and now I'm in the know. I am so beyond blessed, it's ridiculous. I could've kept going deeper into the dark, but instead I got the greatest gift anyone can receive. Can't believe it's already a month. cannot believe it. I love her so much.

<3

dave gahan x skream

2011-01-28T18:42:00.000-05:00

hair jealousy!

2011-01-28T18:36:00.000-05:00

So, I'm getting my hair cut on Saturday. and I am almost 100% on shaving a little part of my head again. i've had an asymmetric cut for awhile, but i want like the front of the left side shaved. i miss doing stuff like that to my hair.
i always want to change it.

here are pictures compiled of hair i want/am lusting after:

<3

Little dolly

2011-01-26T15:10:00.001-05:00

my head

2011-01-26T14:06:00.002-05:00

to shave or not to shave?

only part of one side.
not that played out Rianna hairdo.
but i miss having parts of my head shaved.
ha.
does that sound weird?
deal with it.

<3

Tetrapharmakos (i disagree with some of this)

2011-01-26T13:49:00.003-05:00

The Tetrapharmakos (τετραφάρμακος), or, "The four-part cure," is the Greek philosopher Epicurus' (341 BC, Samos – 270 BC, Athens) remedy for leading the happiest possible life. The "tetrapharmakos" was originally a compound of four drugs (wax, tallow, pitch and resin); the word has been used metaphorically by Epicurus and his disciples to refer to the four remedies for healing the soul.

Analysis

The following is a description of each line as the Epicureans understood it.

Don’t fear god
As a prelude to "Don't worry about death," the concept of "god" in Epicurus' time was incompatible to Epicurus' beliefs. The worrying about whether or not the gods are concerned about the actions of human beings, and the amount of observance and worship ascribed to them, was the general relationship of man's belief to the gods' purpose and temperament. But Epicurus and many other Greeks at the time conceived the gods to be a hypothetical state of bliss rather than higher bodies of judgment; they are indestructible entities that are completely invulnerable, enviable to mortals, and, most importantly, unconcerned about anything beyond the bliss and happiness they represent. They are mere role models for human beings "who emulate the happiness of the gods, within the limits imposed by human nature."

Don’t worry about death
As D. S. Hutchinson wrote concerning this line, "While you are alive, you don't have to deal with being dead, but when you are dead you don't have to deal with it either, because you aren't there to deal with it." In Epicurus' own words, "Death means nothing to us...when we exist, death is not yet present, and when death is present, then we do not exist," for there is no afterlife after we die. Death, says Epicurus, is the greatest anxiety of all, in length and intensity. This anxiety about death impedes the quality and happiness of one's life by the theory of afterlife: the worrying about whether or not one's deeds and actions in life will translate well into the region of the gods, the wondering whether one will be assigned to an eternity of pain or to an eternity of pleasure.

What is good is easy to get
Sustenance and shelter, these things can be acquired by anyone—by both animal and human—with minimal effort, regardless of wealth. But if one wants more than one needs (over indulgency, gluttony, etc.), one is limiting the chances of satisfaction and happiness, and therefore creating a “needless anxiety” in one’s life. "What is good is easy to get" implies that the minimum amount of necessity it takes to satisfy an urge is the maximum amount of interest a person should have in satisfying that urge.

What is terrible is easy to endure
The Epicureans understood that, in nature, illness and pain is not suffered for very long, for pain and suffering is either "brief or chronic...either mild or intense, but discomfort that is both chronic and intense is very unusual; so there is no need to be concerned about the prospect of suffering." Like "What is good is easy to get," recognizing one's physical and mental limit and one's threshold of pain—understanding how much pain the body or mind can endure—and maintaining confidence that pleasure only follows pain (and the avoidance of anxiety about the length of pain), is the remedy against prolonged suffering.

Cella Dwellas, FG, PCU

2011-01-25T12:32:00.003-05:00

Broadway Bar

1/22/11

my boo

2011-01-25T12:27:00.004-05:00

today she is 4 weeks old!

:o)

goddaddy Sean & his lovely lady Aimee came to visit her yesterday, too.

My beauty

2011-01-23T10:49:00.001-05:00

I wait

2011-01-22T21:13:00.001-05:00

Random time.

I'm sitting in the car waiting for frankie to finish burning his set list for the Cella Dwellas show tonight.

it feels like I live in the freezer outside.

I miss Miette already and I've only been gone for 20 minutes.

it'll be nice to go out for a change.

I may even have a beer or two.

I actually have makeup on.

I found my moms poncho from the 70s that I used to wear in middle school. I wish I could wear it tonight but it's way too brick.

can't wait to dance tonight.

but at the same time u can't wait to get back home to Miette.

my mom is a saint.

have a good night!

sleep smiling

2011-01-22T09:29:00.001-05:00

Mercy me

2011-01-20T21:45:00.001-05:00

Remember when I liked you?
remember when I believed your beautiful act?
remember how you could do no wrong in my eyes?
remember when I took in everything you said?
remember all of the times I laughed till my stomach hurt?

it's all so foreign to me now.

you're in my web now;

2011-01-20T17:05:00.001-05:00

I've come
to wrap
you up
tight till
it's time
to bite
down.
<3

lufflife

2011-01-20T12:26:00.002-05:00

baby mimi, randoms, some photog, shtuff.

yeZzir

2011-01-19T16:22:00.001-05:00

I fell in love...

2011-01-19T01:09:00.001-05:00

with language.
<3

Recently...

2011-01-18T13:19:00.002-05:00

Mostly Miette from the past week.

Today she is 3 weeks old.

(it's also Frankie & my one year anniversary)

some other randoms thrown in here.

surved

2011-01-18T09:16:00.002-05:00

This might be personal, can you handle it?
oh man, i dunno. i hope so.

Have you ever been called a slut?
maybe? not that i remember.

Do you think somebody's in love with you?
frankie uhdoy

Is it easy to make you cry?
when i was pregnant, yes.

How do you feel when someone kisses you on your forehead?
frankie does every morning. so gay ha

Do you consider yourself lucky?
the extreme

I bet you miss somebody right now?
wifey

I bet you're thinking about someone right now?
i'm watching a baby story, so i'm thinking abt these ppl on the show

Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
best ever

Do you tell people you're okay when you're really not?
depends. sometimes i don't like people, so i prefer not to communicate.

Who’s the last person you kissed?
miette's chubba cheeks

Girls are bitches, am I right?
sexist much?

Have you ever felt worthless?
no

Have you ever been on a blinddate?
negatory

When is the last time you saw fireworks?
4th of july, obv

Are you taller than your mom?
about the same height, 5'8. she might be a pinch taller

What are you planning on doing after this survey?
wait for miette to wake up, change her diaper, feed her, rock her back to sleep, possibly nap, repeat... oh and maybe go on a date tonight bc it's mine and frankie's year anniversary. AND mimi is 3 weeks old today.

Next time you will kiss someone?
constantly kissing my family

Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
it's possible.

What is bothering you right now?
nothing, i'm just a bit tired.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
yezzir. i'm a fast reader.

Lose a best friend lately?
nerp

Have you told anybody you loved them today?
miette aleksi

Did you cry today?
nah sen

Was today a good day?
it's only abt 930, but so far, it's coo

What are you eating for dinner tonight?
hopefully we'll eat at tokyo

What are you listening to?
a baby story and mimi making cutie noises in her sleep

Do you like winter?
yes, i just don't like snow

Do you regret anything?
no, i wouldn't be who i am today if i didnt go through my experiences, good or bad. and i like who i've become.

What are you excited about?
all of miette's "firsts".

Plans for tomorrow?
i'm a homemaker, so i'll be continuing making our home lol. might do some makeup demos with my new shadow sets.

Do you like to cuddle?
not really. frankie does tho. so i give in sometimes.

Do you want to see someone this very minute?
my sister, my wifey

When was the last time you saw your father?
:( rip

Have you ever had pink eye?
gross, yes. when i was jung.

The last CD you listened to, from where did you get it?
i found a butt load of old cds the other day. i think the last one i listened to was jimi hendrix.

When you last got dressed, did you put on your bottoms or your top first?
always bottoms first.

Have you ever dropped your cell phone in the water?
oh, just the toilet bowl.

Are there any stressful situations in your life?
yes. but i make it through.

How many months until your birthday?
uno!

Is there someone you want back in your life right this moment?
wife

Who did you last talk to for longer than 10 minutes on the phone?
i really really hate talking on the phone, but probably felicia.

Your thoughts on long distance relationships?
silly

Do you have a best friend?
laur, felicia, devin, frankie, patrick, wackers, xtina, sioux

Who were the last people you ate with?
my mom, frankie, and debbie

Who's your best friend that makes you laugh the most?
lauren

Do you think your first love affects the way you go on with life?
maybe in some way? but it isn't a huge impact anymore.

What's a word that rhymes with "tower"?
sour

Did you see Saw 5 in theaters?
no, but i saw it on demand and it was lame

Do you sleep with any stuffed animals?
weirdo

Is your hair up or down right now?
it's actually up. i'm trying to grow it out.

Who was your last missed call from?
lauren, i believe

What are you excited for?
seeing mimi grow up. even though part of me wants her to stay little forever.

atoms for peace

2011-01-17T20:22:00.001-05:00

Peel all of your layers off;
I wanna eat your artichoke heart.
<3

lost & found..

2011-01-16T05:27:00.005-05:00

I was cleaning out my room yesterday and much to my delight, I found a bunch of old cds!
this made me so happy and although, i already have a lot of these tracks on my computer, i need to get all of the cds on there for my ipod.
these cds span back from 4th grade to about 10th or 11th grade!

here's what i found:

-Woodstock: Music from the Original Soundtrack
- A Tribe Called Quest: Midnight Marauders
- The Best of The Doors
- The Very Best of The Smiths
- Prince: Purple Rain
- Atmosphere - Overcast
- Atmosphere - Lucy Ford
- Eric B. & Rakim - Don't Sweat the Technique
- Beastie Boys - Ill Communication
- Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique
- Hole - Live Through This
- Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
- The Fugees - The Score
- David Bowie - Best of Bowie
- Jimi Hendrix - Electric Ladyland
- Jimi Hendrix - Experience Hendrix: The Best of Jimi Hendrix
- Nine Inch Nails - Up the Downward Spiral
- Led Zeppelin - IV
- Jeff Buckley - Grace
- Aesop Rock - Float
- Sonic Youth - Dirty
- The Best of Depeche Mode
- Romeo & Juliet Soundtrack
- Fiona Apple - Tidal Wave
- Nirvana - Incesticide
- The Best of The Cure
- MC Lyte - Lyte as a Rock
- Bikini Kill - Singles

so many treasures!!!

what goes on?

2011-01-14T06:58:00.003-05:00

this is Miette at one week old! She's too adorable for words. That dirty look expression that she sometimes makes, I swear she got from me. Many people have agreed that I am a champion shitty eye giver. One of my many talents. I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing, but it makes for some humorous conversation.

Here she is yesterday morning, at 16 days old. She is so cherubic looking. Those gargantuan blue eyes just make me melt. I hope they stay blue. She'll look beautiful either way though. Frankie has pretty blue eyes with a yellow sun going around his pupil, I hope she gets that.
She's perfect.
Sometimes it's so hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that we made such a beautiful baby. And she's such a pleasure, too. She only cries when she's hungry. She sleeps very well. She already likes to cuddle. (I hope I'm not jinxing myself. watch, tomorrow she won't sleep a wink and not eat well and scream all day.)

I love her so.

The pros outweigh the cons

2011-01-13T21:51:00.001-05:00

cons;

- sleep deprived
- loopy feeling
- loss of appetite
- poopie diapers
- midnight crying baby

pros;

- the love I feel for her is overwhelming.
- her staring into my eyes, to memorize my face.
- chubby cheeks
- blue eyes
- raspberry kisses
- getting my shit together... finally
- seeing how she notices my voice
- blondie
- moopy lips
- amazed at how I created a perfect little lady
and about a million other wonderful things

the pros definitely outweigh the cons.
I would take a million bad situations just to make sure she is happy and healthy.
so in love with my daughter.
<3

Light of the world

2011-01-11T18:29:00.001-05:00

too beautiful

New goodies

2011-01-11T03:41:00.001-05:00

Sephora makeup kit.
mademe x vans.
<3

lippers

2011-01-10T20:32:00.000-05:00

the prettiest lips in the world
<3

Bob d

2011-01-10T20:23:00.001-05:00

The sky is erupting;
I must go where it's quiet.

mimilex

2011-01-10T09:34:00.001-05:00

Hey!

2011-01-09T11:05:00.000-05:00

buggy eyes

2011-01-08T12:10:00.001-05:00

she got them from me
<3

Difficulties

2011-01-08T06:45:00.001-05:00

It's hard to write real blog entries when you have a newborn.
they'll start again when I somehow get a chance.
until then, enjoy a million+ pictures of my beautiful Miette Aleksi <3

true love

2011-01-07T22:12:00.000-05:00

nothing better
<3

blue eyed babe

2011-01-06T17:51:00.000-05:00

Angel face

2011-01-05T00:07:00.001-05:00

life as i now know it

2011-01-03T18:46:00.002-05:00

you don't know what true love is until you have a child.
i cannot express that enough.
you say that you would literally die for this tiny person, and you actually mean it.
i have never felt anything close to this.
if there was no Miette Aleksi, there would be no reason to live anymore.
my sunmoonstars.
<3

some morning music

2011-01-03T08:11:00.002-05:00

&

&

This face!

2011-01-02T05:13:00.001-05:00

I can't take it!
<3

haha

2011-01-01T10:28:00.001-05:00

she is very serious about sleep.
<3

happy new new

2011-01-01T01:12:00.000-05:00

couldn't think of a better person to spend it with. <3

might I be a total softy now?

2010-12-30T22:34:00.004-05:00

still in the hospital.
i just brought my daughter to the nursery (only down the hall) for 10 o'clock checkup and decided to have her sleep there for a few hours so i can be rid of this sleep deprivation. and i've been crying my eyes out not having her here with me.
i am so exhausted, but i miss her already.
how am i ever going to leave her?
she is the most magnificent being on the planet.
i never knew i could love someone like this.
it actually hurts.
Mimi has made my life heaven on earth.
<3

2010-12-30T06:27:00.001-05:00

Sorry, but pictures of my daughter will be flooding my blog from now on.
deal with it. ;)
<3

the most amazing feeling alive

2010-12-29T20:20:00.001-05:00

Nothing else matters anymore.
she is everything.
<3

meet Miette Aleksi

2010-12-29T10:52:00.002-05:00

here are a few pictures of my baby girl, Miette aka Mimi.

She is beautiful.

I'll write my whole birth story on here when I get a chance and I'm not in the hospital, but she had us worried at first. She had a lot of fluid in her lungs, which caused her to have a little trouble breathing on her own. it's not uncommon, but you still don't want to see your child struggling. i was a wreck at first. they are taking wonderful care of her though and she's doing so much better. she won't need to stay for a longer amount of time or anything. thanking god for this one.

the first pictures are right before and after she is born yesterday and the last few are from this morning.

she is so amazing and looks so much like her dad. i see some of me, but she's only a day old! it might take awhile.

You oughtta know

2010-12-28T23:04:00.001-05:00

My baby girl was born this morning.
she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
I'll write more tmrw, as I am too tired to stay awake any longer.

Miette Aleksi
Dec 28, 2010
7.77 Lbs
20.5 inches
9:09 am

crazy talk

2010-12-27T22:50:00.002-05:00

well.
it's only a few hours away.
in 6 hours (or 5am), I'll be leaving the house to go to the hospital...
FOR MY C-SECTION!
i cannot believe it is finally here.
my daughter will be here in about 9 hours. (my surgery is scheduled for about 7:30 am)
I want to see her beautiful face.
i'm praying for a safe operation and more importantly, Miette to be safe, healthy, and happy.
i can't even believe the end of this long road is coming to an end... but another beautiful one is just about to begin.
this whole situation changed me so much, i can hardly wrap my brain around it.
i love who i've become and i do not miss the old me at all.
i can thank it all to my daughter and god.
so blessed, it's not even able to be put into words.
<3

yumyums

2010-12-27T16:16:00.001-05:00

the Polaroid Project: day 64

2010-12-27T00:52:00.001-05:00

hues of Danzig?
<3

recents

2010-12-26T18:37:00.002-05:00

randoms, birdie, xmas, famalam, art, makeup play, etc

thisbikeisapipebomb

2010-12-26T14:03:00.001-05:00

i love listening to bands i haven't listened to in years, or forgot about.
so good.

the Polaroid Project: day 63

2010-12-25T20:43:00.001-05:00

kind of insane that I edited this on my phone. best boots.

The Polaroid Project: day 62

2010-12-24T17:32:00.001-05:00

Merry x
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 61

2010-12-23T20:15:00.001-05:00

I have too many hats and scarves.
that's not even all of them.
<3

Not into it

2010-12-23T13:31:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting in my baby doctor office and it's stifling in here. I mean, my body temperature is higher than normal because of the pregnancy, but the heat in here is most definitely up too high. it's like this every time. you would think it wouldn't be like that considering the majority of their patients are overheated pregnant broads.
Oh and it's snowing out now too. the cold is great, but the snow should die.
I'm just a barrel of complaints today.
<3

the Polaroid Project: day 60

2010-12-22T20:57:00.001-05:00

more of last nights makeup experimentation.
<3

srs

2010-12-22T14:29:00.001-05:00

why do you believe my heart is made of glass?
that you can just smash it into a million pieces whenever you please
it doesn't work that way anymore
my new heart is a toy
I can wind it up and let it go where it wants
like those chattering teeth
I can put it in my junk drawer so nobody has access to it
except for me
and now you'll never hold my heart again
you'll never grasp anything of mine
and I'll make sure your heart is the one in shards next time.

The Polaroid Project: day 59

2010-12-21T23:22:00.001-05:00

new makeup makes me happy.
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 58

2010-12-20T21:19:00.001-05:00

Cannot wait to see my daughter in this.
<3

lauryn still brings it

2010-12-20T19:23:00.003-05:00

this song is touching something today...

As I look at what I've done
the type of life that i've lived
how many things i pray the father will forgive
one situation involved a young man
he was the ocean and i was the sand
he stole my heart like a thief in the night
dulled my senses, blurred my sight

i used to love him, but now i don't
i used to love him, but now i don't.

The Polaroid Project: day 57

2010-12-19T23:12:00.001-05:00

Boo creep
<3

Discomfort

2010-12-19T18:50:00.001-05:00

38 Weeks.
9 days until c-section and the birth of my beautiful daughter.
(yes, I already know she's beautiful)
my mom and grandma think I may go into labor early. I really hope that's not the case. I don't wanna go into labor. I don't think I'll be able to handle it well, what with all the anxiety that I get.
I honestly just wish that I could just sleep from now until the 28th. I don't even care about missing Christmas, as horrible as that sounds. but I'm in constant pain and discomfort. constant exhaustion. nausea. abdominal pain. rib pain. back pain. excruciating heartburn. you really do not know what heartburn is until you're pregnant. and even though I'm always tired, it's very difficult to fall and stay asleep. I wake up at least 3 to 5 times throughout the night to use the bathroom. if the temperature in the house is above 62°, I get too hot and nauseous. I can only eat a little bit at a time because there's no room in my belly anymore.
I truly don't know how women do this multiple times. we are much stronger than we are given credit to. but for real, a lot of people have been telling me that I'll miss being pregnant and will want to do it again. I really don't think that will be the case with me. It is definitely worth going through all of this because the outcome will be a beautiful baby I will be in love with. it's just insanity what pregnant women go through. I couldn't imagine doing it again. ever. plus, I would rather put all of my focus into one child. but that's just me.
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 56

2010-12-18T21:48:00.001-05:00

I'm being kind of vain lately. oh well.
<3

can't you see i got the yearnin?

2010-12-18T15:13:00.001-05:00

birdie gets a scare

2010-12-17T22:51:00.001-05:00

I'm updating from my phone again. I'm too lazy and it's too painful to walk up the stairs into the office to use the computer. what else is new? I wish the mac book was here.
only 11 days left until little miss Miette Aleksi will be cut out of me. haha sorry to put it that way, I'm in a bit of a moronic mood. I have to say, I am petrified. not of the actual surgery, but of not being able to move my legs and being numb below the chest. I don't know why that scares me so much. is that odd? probably. everyone is telling me it won't bother me, but I can totally see myself having a full blown panic attack as soon as I lose feeling. I swear, panic disorder will be the death of me.
BUT,
I would much rather be having this c-section than be in labor for hours on end. that seriously could give me a panic attack just thinking about it too much. so weird that I would rather endure a surgery and harder recovery, but hey that's me.
I just can't wait to see that little face of hers and fall in love like never before.
mad cheese.
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 55

2010-12-17T20:08:00.001-05:00

Urban decay, dior, m.a.c.
(this is a big deal. I rarely wear makeup anymore)
<3

P.P.

2010-12-17T16:13:00.001-05:00

Let
your
love
grow
tall
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 54

2010-12-16T13:27:00.001-05:00

Inverted rainbow

The Polaroid Project: day 53

2010-12-15T15:28:00.001-05:00

Preggie pops
<3

truth.

2010-12-14T22:32:00.000-05:00

The Polaroid Project: day 52

2010-12-14T21:18:00.000-05:00

Oh hi
<3

feather

2010-12-14T21:05:00.002-05:00

so i'm drifting away like a feather in the air
letting my words take me away from the hurt and despair
so i'm keeping it vertical
forever elevator
riding the escalator to the something that is greater.
<3

lovin on nujabes

2010-12-14T20:58:00.002-05:00

RIP
legendary!

preggoshoot

2010-12-14T08:39:00.003-05:00

I'm going to be doing a pregnancy photoshoot at some point this week, taken by the talented See Are Bee.
I can't wait.
Hopefully it won't be too cold. I'm always overheated from being pregnant anyway.
But I would really love to do an outdoor shoot.

some inspirational photo shoots and pretty preggo art:

<3

The Polaroid Project: day 51

2010-12-14T06:09:00.001-05:00

Oh xmas tree
<3