crazy talk

well.
it's only a few hours away.
in 6 hours (or 5am), I'll be leaving the house to go to the hospital...
FOR MY C-SECTION!
i cannot believe it is finally here.
my daughter will be here in about 9 hours. (my surgery is scheduled for about 7:30 am)
I want to see her beautiful face.
i'm praying for a safe operation and more importantly, Miette to be safe, healthy, and happy.
i can't even believe the end of this long road is coming to an end... but another beautiful one is just about to begin.
this whole situation changed me so much, i can hardly wrap my brain around it.
i love who i've become and i do not miss the old me at all.
i can thank it all to my daughter and god.
so blessed, it's not even able to be put into words.
<3

preggoshoot

I'm going to be doing a pregnancy photoshoot at some point this week, taken by the talented See Are Bee.
I can't wait.
Hopefully it won't be too cold. I'm always overheated from being pregnant anyway.
But I would really love to do an outdoor shoot.

some inspirational photo shoots and pretty preggo art:













<3

33 weeks!

can't believe I'm 33 weeks.
it's so close!!!!
<3

key words

aches
pains
love
belly
giant
affection
panic
Miette
waiting
verbatim
envy
confident
frightened
fat
overheated
lullabies
aches
pains
love

my brain ran dumb

as of today, I am 29 weeks and 5 days pregnant! Unbelievable. I am so excited, I can't even put it into words. I wish time would go just a bit faster (I always say that). But, the third trimester has been pretty hard for me. For one, I get nauseous almost every day. Most women get morning (afternoon, evening) sickness mostly in the first trimester, but I am in that lucky small percentage of women that don't develop it badly until trimester 3. Wonderful. Another thing that has been a burden, is my anxiety. I've been suffering from anxiety for about 9 years, when I was about 17. I believe it started back when I thought ecstasy was a really cool drug. Rather, I was naive and really didn't think it was that bad. The last time I ate it, I had a really bad trip and ever since then I started getting anxiety/panic attacks. Finally had them under control, with the help of anti-anxiety medication, meditation, and prayer. But now, I'm having a shit ton of anxiety. Though, it is nowhere near as horrible as it used to be, thank gawd. I'm sure it's common in pregnancy, and I'm such a worry wort when it comes to giving birth and something happening to Miette. I know everything will be ok, just wish it was a little easier to deal with.

Here is me 29 wks and 4 days:


and here is the adorable bassinet, that I put together solo, and there was so much to it lol.



<3

I really want this vintage veedub:


a long time, good mood song:


lovelovelove

my baby shower 10/10/10

my baby shower was better than I ever could've imagined.  the theme was Deery Lou, which if you know me, know that i love love love Deery Lou.  my mom seriously went above and beyond to make this shower perfect.  i am so blessed.  i always say that, but it's completely true.  i am now  28 weeks!  Miette will be here so soon.  it's unbelievable.  Frankie and I are absolutely spoiled with all of the stuff we got.  I think Miette literally has everything she needs.  The only thing I can think of that we need to get is the baby monitor.  Anyway, here are a shit ton of pictures from the party, all mixed up out of order. deal with it. :)