hween 10

here be a few halloween pics. didn't get many.  frankie and i were a white trash hillbilly couple.

we looked absolutely disgusting. :o)

this will do for a laugh

If Men Could Menstruate

by Gloria Steinem


Living in India made me understand that a white minority of the world has spent centuries conning us into thinking a white skin makes people superior, even though the only thing it really does is make them more subject to ultraviolet rays and wrinkles.

Reading Freud made me just as skeptical about penis envy. The power of giving birth makes "womb envy" more logical, and an organ as external and unprotected as the penis makes men very vulnerable indeed.

But listening recently to a woman describe the unexpected arrival of her menstrual period (a red stain had spread on her dress as she argued heatedly on the public stage) still made me cringe with embarrassment. That is, until she explained that, when finally informed in whispers of the obvious event, she said to the all-male audience, "and you should be proud to have a menstruating woman on your stage. It's probably the first real thing that's happened to this group in years."

Laughter. Relief. She had turned a negative into a positive. Somehow her story merged with India and Freud to make me finally understand the power of positive thinking. Whatever a "superior" group has will be used to justify its superiority, and whatever and "inferior" group has will be used to justify its plight. Black me were given poorly paid jobs because they were said to be "stronger" than white men, while all women were relegated to poorly paid jobs because they were said to be "weaker." As the little boy said when asked if he wanted to be a lawyer like his mother, "Oh no, that's women's work." Logic has nothing to do with oppression.

So what would happen if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and women could not?

Clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, worthy, masculine event:

Men would brag about how long and how much.

Young boys would talk about it as the envied beginning of manhood. Gifts, religious ceremonies, family dinners, and stag parties would mark the day.

To prevent monthly work loss among the powerful, Congress would fund a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea. Doctors would research little about heart attacks, from which men would be hormonally protected, but everything about cramps.

Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields- "For Those Light Bachelor Days."

Statistical surveys would show that men did better in sports and won more Olympic medals during their periods.

Generals, right-wing politicians, and religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof that only men could serve God and country in combat ("You have to give blood to take blood"), occupy high political office ("Can women be properly fierce without a monthly cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priests, ministers, God Himself ("He gave this blood for our sins"), or rabbis ("Without a monthly purge of impurities, women are unclean").

Male liberals and radicals, however, would insist that women are equal, just different; and that any woman could join their ranks if only she were willing to recognize the primacy of menstrual rights ("Everything else is a single issue") or self-inflict a major wound every month ("You must give blood for the revolution").

Street guys would invent slang ("He's a three-pad man") and "give fives" on the corner with some exchenge like, "Man you lookin' good!"

"Yeah, man, I'm on the rag!"

TV shows would treat the subject openly. (Happy Days: Richie and Potsie try to convince Fonzie that he is still "The Fonz," though he has missed two periods in a row. Hill Street Blues: The whole precinct hits the same cycle.) So would newspapers. (Summer Shark Scare Threatens Menstruating Men. Judge Cites Monthlies In Pardoning Rapist.) And so would movies. (Newman and Redford in Blood Brothers!)

Men would convince women that sex was more pleasurable at "that time of the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself, though all they needed was a good menstruating man.

Medical schools would limit women's entry ("they might faint at the sight of blood").

Of course, intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical arguements. Without the biological gift for measuring the cycles of the moon and planets, how could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense of time, space, mathematics-- or the ability to measure anything at all? In philosophy and religion, how could women compensate for being disconnected from the rhythm of the universe? Or for their lack of symbolic death and resurrection every month?

Menopause would be celebrated as a positive event, the symbol that men had accumulated enough years of cyclical wisdom to need no more.

Liberal males in every field would try to be kind. The fact that "these people" have no gift for measuring life, the liberals would explain, should be punishment enough.

And how would women be trained to react? One can imagine right-wing women agreeing to all these arguements with a staunch and smiling masochism. ("The ERA would force housewives to wound themselves every month": Phyllis Schlafly)

In short, we would discover, as we should already, that logic is in the eye of the logician. (For instance, here's an idea for theorists and logicians: if women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the beginning of our menstrual cycle when the female hormone is at its lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that, in those few days, women behave the most like the way men behave all month long? I leave further improvisation up to you.)

The truth is that, if men could menstruate, the power justifications would go on and on.

If we let them.

this is how it might be

mwahahahaha

it is AND... it isn't

girl, you got me twisted over you.

tell me why this has been in my head all day? haha
i'm not complaining, just random as hell.
it reminds me of 6th grade? around there. haha.

oh my god, he's got an afro!

If you've got a strong stomach, enjoy watching smut, bathroom humor, campy horror flicks... "Terror Firmer" is a must see. this has been a favorite since I was like 19, and I could never get sick of it. be warned, it is very intense lol

piffy

apparently Pippy gets down.

funny bones

haha, i'm sure a man made that one... ignorant dewds lol.




mwahaha this kills me

screwyscrewyscrewtube

peep my youtube page for live performances and retarded activites

Birdie's youtube

and a preview:





<3

we really aren't even drunk

i swearz




(but i might be driz now)

um, I do?

So, this is a wedding invitation.
Yes, I am serious.

belly laughs

I've been youtubing funny clips all night. I'm not sure why. youtube is the funsies.
enjoy!

hands down best scene from fresh prince, EVER!:


a bit from Eddie Murphy- Delirious:


a bit from Sarah Silverman- Jesus is Magic:

swervgay

Haven't done one of these in a minute, so here goes:

1. How tall are you barefoot?
5'8ish

2. Have you ever smoked before?
only crack and meth, obviously

3. Do you own a gun?
super soaker whatwhat

4.What's your favorite sport to watch?
dance competitions haaay

5. How many letters are in your crush's name?
a billion and 5

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
they are so worth the stink ass burps, especially corn dogs.

7. What is your favorite Christmas song?
i despise xmas music, unless it's the Jackson 5 xmas album. i can listen to that ish all year, no lies.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
waterwaterwater or oj or cranburry juice

9. Do you do push-ups?
in my wii fit workout, im buff

10. Have you ever done ecstacy?
too many times back in the day. so gross.

11. Do you like spam?
the "meat" or spam mail? how about i don't enjoy either?

12. Do you like painkillers?
if i need some pain to be murdered, for sho

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
tell them i hate them

14. Do you own a knife?
steak and butter

15. Do you have A.D.D.?
oh fa sho

16. Full initials?
jay pee ess

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
i'm going to wii workout after this
i'm going to shower after wii workout
i'm going to work after wii workout and shower

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought today
i didnt buy anything today. i'm fiending to thrift though

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink.
water, and recently cranburry juice

20. What time did you wake up today?
ten firty

21. Do you want to stay a virgin until you are married?
doesnt everyone do that?

22. Current worry?
will i be able to sing tonight at this show? im still a bit sicky

23. Current hate?
honestly can't think of anything at the moment, wowies.

24. Favorite place to be?
disney world, ahdoy. oh, and inside you.

25. Least favorite place to be?
somewhere that smells bad

26. Where would you like to go?
how about disney world?

27. Where are you?
office

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
fat housewife or famous

29. Do you burn or tan?
i win for most tan pale italian

30. Favorite color/s?
purple. you knew this.

31. Would you be a pirate?
who wouldn't?

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
saturday night @ password's beef celebration

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
for some reason i always sing the girl's part in "cher chez la ghost". i don't know why, but that seems to be my shower song of choice.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
the candyman

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
devin bc he bags austrian chicks like what

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
popples... still got them

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
broken wrist or ovarian cyst. i rhyme.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
5s

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Wackers St. George

42. Who is your most silent friend?
ummmmmmmmm do i have those?

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
everyone ever

44. Do you wish on stars?
on occasion

45. What song do you want played at your funeral?
"do i look like a slut?" ~avenue dee

Really? No, seriously? WTF?

While browsing through The Lipstick Diaries (one of my favorite blogs), I found this:



It's an effing artificial HYMEN! what the shit? This is just creepy.

"No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction."

I can't believe this is real? Hey, if you don't wanna feel loosey goosey, don't go sleeping around, but that's just my opinion.

sexy time

this is one of my favorite videos for awhile now.
Spank Rock, Amanda Blank, and Benny Blanco presenting the top 10 songs to do it too. comedy.
Also, make sure you watch the whole thing, Amanda kills it at the end!!!!


Bangers & Cash Top 10 Songs To Do It To

SPANK ROCK | MySpace Music Videos

girl on girl

My biggest girl crush to date, is Sarah Silverman. She's not exactly what you would call conventionally pretty, but I am so in love with her. I'm sure her comedy and her voice make it easier for me to love her, as well. She is the cutest thing ever! I would love to go completely gay for her. I might even love her more than Amanda Blank, only because I knew of her before I knew of Amanda.




You must also watch this video. An installment of her stand up act, "Jesus is Magic". She has to be the funniest broad ever. You would think with her nasal, sweet voice, she would be all prim and proper, but she has the mouth of a fucking truck driver married to a trailer park chick!

peepeep

I don't believe you

Kool Keith is one of my favorite rappers, even though his lyrics are ridiculous. Pure comedy though, gotta love it. Here's a video for his joint "I Don't Believe You". It's just a bunch of flicks to go with the lyrics, but it's fucking hilarious.
peepeep



I know a guy who I could totally dedicate this song to. Literally, he lies about stuff like this often. Love it.

unforgivable

this is so old, but this shit still cracks me up!