grrrrr

currently cannot fall asleep... and i'm exhausted.  so obnoxious.  i'm too excited to slumber.  tomorrow (well today, technically) i should be able to find out whether i'm having a boy or a girl!!!! i'm insanely stoked.  hopefully the baby won't hide his/her junk on me.  we all know how impatient i am.  i've got a slew of relatives/friends coming with. me, frankie, mom dukes, mema, and frankie's mom. 

everyone is asking me if i'm hoping for a girl or a boy more.  i really don't know.  since i was young, i always said that if i ever had a child, i want it to be a boy (though, i honestly never saw myself having kids).  at this point, i'll be happy either way, as long as the baby is healthy and happy.  i do have a feeling that i'm having a girl though... which i'm sure means i'm having a boy. 

everyone i see is telling me different things.  "oh, you're glowing, that means you're having a boy", "your face changed a bit, that means you're having a girl"... all different myths. so silly. it's different every pregnancy. they say girls give you horrible skin. my skin looks amazing.  that could also be bc of my Arbonne :)

i cannot stress enough how happy i am with the way things have turned out though.  this has changed me so intensely for the better and i can't believe how blessed i am.  i'm truly thankful for everyone and everything that still have an importance in my life.  i don't even mind anyone who has or is hating on me anymore.  i hope they can one day find the happiness that i have found.  i know what it's like to hate, and sorry, you're not happy with yourself when you have to do that. it's alright. things will get better.

anyway, i really hope i can fall out asap. i'm sooooo excited!