Wednesday, March 31, 2010


My fading voice sings of love.
But she cries to the clicking of time.

bitch, you ain't no nerd?

I'm not quite sure why I titled this blog as that, but hey, it works for me.

First thing's first. Go peep the new track that I put up on my myspace music page. link: Birdie's Music.
The new song is called "Jack Frost", featuring my boyf Frankie Gray (FG), and PCU members Password, Struggle, and Sevo... with me singing the hooks. I think this track is fiyah. Do not sleep.

I can't wait for tomorrow night because I'm going to be taking my girl Tara's belly dancing class. If you know me, you know I grew up as a trained dancer and it's my favorite thing in the world. I haven't taken a dance class in months, and belly dancing is definitely going to put me in a wonderful mood. I've been missing ballet class like what. I should get out to B'Way Dance Center and take a few classes. I would like to at least take one class a week. I used to take classes 5 days a week, way back when. I don't know why I went on hiatus.
Anyway, I'm so stoked for tomorrow's class.

The beautiful Tara... who is also my hair stylist :)

Not like this hasn't happened before, but this song has been in my head all day...

I love pretty much anything and everything MF Doom is a part of. He's definitely legendary.

So, I've decided that I need to start upping my jewelry game. I used to wear a lot of costume jewelry, but the past few years, I only wear jewelry once in a blue. And also, most of the pieces I like are ridiculous and look like an 8 year old should be wearing them... oh well. I was browsing the jewelry section on Karmaloop and I need these pieces:

if you wanna shop at karmaloop, don't forget to use my rep code at checkout for 20% off... good on sale items too. lot's of new spring/summer stuff coming in too.

also, don't forget
April 8, the infamous Rakim at the Crazy Donkey in Farmingdale.
My boyfriend is opening! so exciting.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

best. be. here.

The legendary RAKIM!
my boyfriend is opening up for him too.
so exciting.


Saturday, March 27, 2010

open my heart & let it bleed onto yours...

I was in the mood for this all day long, for some reason. It will never get old!


Thursday, March 25, 2010

Happy Thursday!

I love this photo.

I'm in an exceptionally good, no great mood today! I'm not exactly sure why. Just woke up feeling lovely. The weather is a big help, except for that disgusting rain the other day. But, everything in my life is going so well. I'm so happy. I'm so grateful for everything that I have. I know, it's strange to see me being ridiculously positive! Get used to it.

Today is day 3 of being a non-smoker. It's really difficult, but the patch is definitely helping and the butt load of sugar free candy i purchased too. I'm really hoping that I can stick with this. The main reason is for my singing voice. I want it to stay strong, and maybe even get stronger than it is. Hopefully works out well.

I want one of these:

I remember my great grandmother (I think) having this when I was little, and I always wanted it. I think hers had googly eyes though. Maybe I can track it down, or find one at the thrift store.

I feel like being crafty today.
I'm either going to paint, acid wash some shirts, write, or take some photos. I need to do something creative, or I'll go nuts.
I wrote a long rhyme last night, that I think came out really well. I may wanna turn it into a trip-hop (think Portishead) type song. Or I'm going to rap. I can rap, I know most of you are probably like, "is this broad serious?" haha. But yeah I can definitely spit, so stay tuned.

I'll be recording tonight, as well. Jumping on a track with my boo and the PCU.
loving all the music we're making!

Drexl Spivey?


blood day sun day

So, I positively DESPISE U2. Hate on me if you want, but I just can't stand them.
I'm also usually not a fan of covers, but every now and then, there comes a banger! Saul Williams covering "Sunday Bloody Sunday" is an absolute masterpiece (even though it technically isn't his).


You should check out all of Saul Williams' stuff. His live poetry, his books, his music. He is a very brilliant man.


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

square stanza

Thought this was ill... by Lewis Carroll.
can be read both ways... obviously.


swallow your pride

Please do not take life for granted. I know it's cliche, but life is way too short to sweat the small stuff. Forgive and forget. Don't hold grudges. I forgive everyone who has ever wronged me, even if they aren't sorry. I've done some horrible things in the past, and i apologize to everyone that I've ever hurt. Make ammends with people, even if you aren't so fond of them. Hating on people will only weigh heavy on your heart and takes up too much negative energy. It takes more energy to hate someone, then love/like someone. When people pass away, the haters will feel just as bad as the loved ones. I had a revelation very recently, and I honestly pray for everyone I know. Even the people who may not like me or "hate" me. I cannot take anything for granted again. My time may come soon and my loved ones time may come soon, but I will be ready to be at peace with myself and everyone else. I forgive you.

my daddy, Frankie Santoriello
my aunt patricia
my grandparents and great grand parents
mr. and mrs. kirk
jeff buckley (for making music that touches my heart, like no other)
Cathi Muse & Angel
any of my loved ones, loved ones


dessa love


Thursday, March 18, 2010

New York Couture: "Delicious Dream" Collection

If you know me, you know it usually looks like rainbows and the 80s threw up all over me. I've been told many times that my colorful look and style, make me very unique and make it my own.
I'm so lusting over the "Delicious Dream" collection. It's right up my alley. If I had more money, I would absolutely purchase every single piece.


who does your, who does your hair?

mega hyper today. think i'll work out to Le Tigre.
an all time favorite of mine.

love anything Kathleen Hanna


Jeffrey Campbell 99 Fur Shoe in Cheetah

if you shop at, use my rep code at checkout for 20% off. good on sale items too!
Rep code: JN31115

don't sleep, lots of new spring and summer clothes.


i love this

my bookwurm :)


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Oh hay blondie


I'm quite ridiculous today...

And I love it.


in the mood: all things Acid Wash

saw these Vans on Karmaloop...

and they're totally making me in the mood to DIY some of my clothes in acid wash. it's not too difficult at all, and makes them one of a kind.


Think I'll try to conquer this tonight.

Monday, March 15, 2010


a long time favorite:

would really love to record a song over a dnb/jungle beat.
next on my list.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

good life.

I had a great weekend. It was my boyf's beeday and we had a show at Prohibitions, despite the horrific weather. It was so bad. I thought we were going to lose control on the LIE, I hate cars. Anyway, now that my weekend is over, I feel the need to vent about random stuff. So I'll make a list.

- ok, stop being fake.

- the rain needs to die. I'm missing my daily walks.

- my hair looks ill, but it's so fried. Conditioning treatments massive.

- probably need a second job. Make that, definitely need a second job.

- I'm missing brooklyn living. I belong in bk, not this lame island.

- I MUST perform in more shows! I need fame and fortune.

- I feel a sore throat coming on.

- I need to quit smoking, especially while getting mega serious with this music thing.

- you're not cool because you started shopping at the thrift store. We've been doing that for years, silly.

- actually be an individual, instead of trying to make people believe you are one.

- lying to everyone else is still lying to yourself.

- I need to get back to church!




Friday, March 12, 2010

I'm half blond. Woops.


it doesn't look that orange in person, stupid cell phone cammy

I'm sorry, I had to... again.

I really cannot get enough of him. I mean, he's been one of my favorite artists for years and years now, but lately I'm on the biggest Jeff Buckley kick and it won't go away. I think I've officially bumped him up to my all time favorite. Yes, before Prince, and before Atmosphere. Absolutely crazy, I know this. I can't help it. He has the most amazing voice in the whole entire world, I don't care if anyone thinks different. Come back from the dead and wed me, please?
ha, I'm such a lame. I don't even mind.

i can't take it.

Say it right.

I love these pictures/statements that I stumbled upon. I think bathroom wall banter is great. It's entertainment when you're relieving yourself. Wall statements have some of the best quotes of all time.


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I wash the streets from your skin when you come home!

it's a Sneaker Pimps kind of day.

my heart my heart my heart


it's all overkill

good music. good beat. good lyrics. good love.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

do it do it do it

hit up my myspace music page.
2 new tracks up. "Don't Worry" & "Red Dawn". me singing hooks. MCs Struggle, Password, and Sevo of the PCU and my boo, FG.

also peep the other tracks. "All in perspective", "Wait and see", and "Heartbreak for dummies" with MCs Bookwurm, FG, and Sargon Elements.

real hiphop is not dead!

I was just talking to my lady, Drea, and as usual she inspires me to the max. She's a great writer, and I'm rethinking that I should put more personal stuff on my blog. I don't mind people reading my stuff anyway, so why not? I'm so happy for Drea. She seems to be in such a great spot in her life, and she's exudes happiness and beauty. She's about 19 weeks pregnant, engaged to the love of her life, and just doing great things. She is just an amazing and beautiful person, inside and out. I hope to one day be as happy. I love you, Dre.

Speaking of happiness, I am probably the happiest that I've been since childhood, probably. And it's not because of something I'm doing, or because of a significant other... I'm happy with me! I've made SO many mistakes in my life, but I don't regret any of them. They are all learning experiences to me. I'm stronger than I have ever been, I know who my true friends are (and i cherish the shit out of them), I love my amazing family, and I love the person who I am becoming. I know I've hurt a lot of people in my life, and I'm apologetic for that, but everything happens for a reason and I'm okay with that.
Music is touching me like it never has before, as well. I'm recording with some crazy talented artists, singing my ass off, and networking to the fullest. Even if nothing comes out of it, I still feel amazing just being able to share music and perform. I couldn't survive without music, and I'm more passionate about it than anything else (singing & dancing included). I thank God everyday for giving me the ability to love music and be talented with singing and dancing.
I have so much love in my heart lately and I just want to share it with everyone. Even my enemies, who I pray for more on the regular. I don't mind not being liked or hated on, because haters just need help in their lives and hopefully they'll find their way.

Okay, this was a crazy blog update.


Just gimme one mic & one mic stand...

"No Good" - Plan B

love this jam.

"Plan B (real name Ben Drew, b. 1984) is a rapper from Forest Gate, London. From the age of 11 he attended Anglo European School in Ingatestone Essex, before transfering to Tom Hood, an inner-city comprehensive. He has described his character, in these school days, as “a bit of a cunt”. He is signed to 679 Recordings, home to UK rap act The Streets. His unique sound is characterised by his use of acoustic beats and lyrics involving drugs, rape, murder and underage sex. He was placed fourth in the BBC’s “Sound of 2006” competition."
~ via Last.FM

Happy Tuesday

It's beautiful out! get outside!


Monday, March 8, 2010

HellzBellz Spring '10: "Obsessed With You"

absolutely loving this collection!

NEED that last dress in my closet!


My Misfits <3

Furious, exodus walks along the maddening march of death
With the furor and the masses whose supremacies is the dominion
Alien bodies stiff and cold
Your inner sane turns numb
You transform into a rage
Too naive to understand

And as they go on, the sacrifice grows
We're living on ground zero, fire
(This island, earth)
Target locked, systems checked, enter code
We're living on ground zero, fire
(Fire this island, earth)

Locked up in a room
Human beings in a cage
The sentence, a scienced death
As they pull the triggers of ray guns
Evil blackened eyes of youth
Absorbing life's hidden anguish
Death thrown all about the ground
Or those who wouldn't fight

And they go on as the sacrifice grows
We're living on ground zero, fire
(This island, earth)
Targets locked, systems checked, enter code
We're living on ground zero, fire
(Fire this island, earth)

We're living on this island, earth.

random ish talking

- I had off from work today and I did hours of laundry and room cleaning. My legs are killing me. I haven't wii fitted in like a week, and my body knows it. Must get back to that tomorrow. It's nice to have clothes in my closet. I have a ridiculously large wardrobe and almost always live out of laundry baskets. I need to put a stop to that and get organized. Almost done. Hours of laundry and still have at least 8 to 10 loads left to do. I'm finding things that I didn't even know I had. I love that.

I'm not quite sure why I'm blogging about my day. I usually don't get into personal day to day activity on here, but hey, why not? I'm an open book and don't mind random strangers reading about me. I am pretty awesome.


I went grocery shopping tonight. Got mostly all healthy food. I was debating doing the South Beach diet again, but it's hard as eff to do no carbs and/or sugar for 2 weeks. I can't even imagine doing the Atkins diet. Seems like blasphemy to me.  It is effective, but once you stop, you gain that weight back so easily.
I'm actually disgusted at myself at how much I tear myself down about the way I look. I mean, everyone has their insecurities, but I spend so much of my day thinking about my weight. It's probably because I gained some weight since last year. I am by no means fat, at all, but I'm used to being skinnier. I'll get back there. There are people who are huge dbags and throw the word fat around so easily. It's horrible and it's the reason we have so many eating disorder cases. Another point, just because you might be skinny, does NOT mean you have a good body! So people should think about that. I'm think and proportionate and I actually love my body, deep down. But there are definitely things I'm in the midst of fixing. I also think it's very offensive to call people fat, when they themselves have fat friends. If I were their fat friends, I would be extremely offended. I feel bad that being emaciated is all the rage. Back in the day, most models were curvy and actually had tits and ass. I don't know about everyone else, but I would rather be with a girl who has big tits and a fat ass. Not someone with only nipples and a flatty. I'm not trying to knock girls lacking in these areas, because I actually love B cups, but when these girls who are skinny call everyone else fat because they aren't emaciated, it's not right. I guess it's just something to say and just shows that they're insecure, themselves. Usually they aren't fooling anyone and it's painted on them vividly.

Wow that was a long rant.

What else?

My Frankie is coming over tomorrow and I'm going to play dress up for him. Ow ow ow.
I'm elated to FINALLY be in a relationship that's 50/50, no jealousy issues, not someone who is more sensitive than me, no shit talking. Just taking it one day at a time and enjoying each others company. It's refreshing. I was convinced that every dude out there was either crazy or abusive (probably can go under the same category). I was even beginning to think that I was the one there was something wrong with, but it's not the case at all. I am so happy with this relationship and how easy breezy it is. Hope it stays that way lol.

Okay, I revealed far too much in this blog.


get into it

The Bamboos - On The Sly from Tru Thoughts on Vimeo.

inspiration for the ladies

some inspirational lady pics i found on (amazing website, definitely check it):