ugh I slack like a muhfuh with my blogging lately. mostly bc I haven't gone on a computer in days. I just update pictures from my phone. I just haven't felt like going on the computer for some reason. weirdtits.
so I've got about 28 days until it's time for little Miette Aleksi to grace us with her presence via cesarean! praying she doesn't come early because I don't know how gung ho I'll be going through labor. it's so scary. I'm terrified of it. although I am also a little nervous about not being able to feel anything below the chest. numbness is creepy. I'm so strange. but all that matters is that she gets here safe. and I know god will take care of that.
everyday I grow more and more uncomfortable. the bigger my belly gets, the more I find it harder to move around. hope I can keep up with my prenatal yoga until the very end. I can't really bend to pick anything up and it is so tiring walking up and down the stairs. Miette loves to push on my ribs too. it's the strangest feeling and it's starting to hurt now. she pushes and kicks around so much that she even wakes me up during the night. I don't mind though. I just wish the anxiety would subside a bit. only a short time left and everything is worth it. her safe arrival is all that matters now.

The Polaroid Project: day 38

Rubba ducky
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 37

Lol aww little miss Jayla
<3

makeittakeit

How can I kiss you when I can't even take looking at you?
I don't pity your back door attitude
I'm not a plate you throw against the wall to shatter
pick up the pieces and cut out your hatred
the hate in your heart makes you ugly as sin
why would I want to kiss you when I can't even look at you?

The Polaroid Project: day 36

Boo
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 35

Army fatigues
<3

All Neon Like...

<3

okay

We held hands as the waves struck down
who said I wanted to touch you?

The Polaroid Project: day 34

Dutty bootz
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 33

I'm too obsessed
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 32

I could eat these all day
<3

Oh hi

I haven't given a real update in a minute, so that will happen soon.
hopefully today.
ish has been crazy.
good crazy.
I shall try to get to it today.
thought I'd let y'all know.
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 31

Box of fortune cookies wtf lol

random recents

The Polaroid Project: day 30

Miette's piggy bank from aunt Laur and aunt Ro.
<3

The Polaroid Project: Day 29

Love this ring
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 28

Booshi
<3

"In the third trimester, the brain produces a chemical called serotonin which produces during fear and worry times. Since the chemical is released, panic attacks can become frequent and be intense."
(according to a Dr. on article base)

this unfortunately is happening to me during my third trimester.
it blows.
but it's almost over.
I need to be strong.
and I will be.
it will all be worth it
because my little girl
will be in this world in
just 39 days!
amazing.

<3

The Polaroid Project: day 27

My favorite hat from Disney 08 lol
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 26

My favorite Marilyn shot
<3

You crazy

The Smith's and Morrissey have been putting me in good moods since elementary school.
when ppl say they dislike them, I die a little inside.

happy birthday, beautiful

Today is Jeff Buckley's birthday.
Had to honor him, as he is my favorite musical artist of all time.
everybody knows this.
love!

probably my favorite performance of his.

The Polaroid Project: day 25

Birdies on my wall
<3

33 weeks!

can't believe I'm 33 weeks.
it's so close!!!!
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 24

Another punky poodle
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 23

Birdie
<3

Spaghetti squash recipe

Spaghetti squash is a very strange looking food, but tastes delicious and is a healthy alternative to pasta. seriously, make this if you want something different, healthy, and yummy.

-preheat oven to 375°
-poke holes all over squash, so it doesn't explode while baking
-put in deep baking pan and bake for 1 hour
-remove from oven and let cool for a few minutes
-cut in half using large serrated knife
-using spoon, remove seeds from middle of squash
-using a large kitchen fork, gently scrape the remainder of the inside of the squash. it will shred and look similar to spaghetti
-add salt, pepper, and butter for taste as it has a very bland taste alone.
-you can also add any type of sauce or cheese that you would normally use in a pasta dish

enjoy!
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 22

baby Belly
<3

Thoughts Random

I wish I could get a pedicure every day of my life.
why do all or most men act like douche bags in one way or another?
this is the longest I've gone without booze or cigarettes and I don't even miss them.
I'm dog sitting a 10 yr old poodle named Pumpkin and she snores like a human being.
I write down most of my pregnant dreams, but last night for sure had to be the strangest one.
every time I hear or read abt someone going out to get shitty, I instantly get nauseous.
I've turned into such an old lady with good morals.
I'm terrified of having a c section but would rather that than vaginal birth... that scares me 10 fold.
Miette loves to push on my ribs and it is the weirdest feeling ever.
I miss going to shows in the city.
I can't wait to eventually move back to Brooklyn.
I wish my wife would move to new York.
I hope Miette looks like me, but with blue eyes.
I can't wait to have my baby girl in my arms!
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 21

Pumpkin poodle
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 20

Self
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 19

Peacock
<3

Ere long done do does did

So we go inside and we gravely read the stones
All those people, all those lives
where are they now?
with loves
and hates
and passions
just like mine
They were born
and then they lived
and then they died
it seems so unfair,
I want to cry.



<3

Live every week like it's shark week!

Don't take anything for granted.  dance constantly. pray for others well being. laugh it off. be colorful. work hard. play. hug a lot. constant musical sounding. don't walk, skip. hang on to all nostalgic and/or objects, no matter how small or silly.  take in wayward animals. be cliche. be corny. eat well, but don't deprive yourself. make out. be spontaneous. lose yourself in music. meditate. create/destruct. make some kind of art every day. love.

Thanks dudes

Over 10,000 reads
:o)

The Polaroid Project: day 18

Wall o' Birdie
<3

The Polaroid Project: day 17

New ugly shoes. I love them.

Due, I am...

Expect a lengthy update very soon containing severe ventilation.
I'm so stressed.

The Polaroid Project: day 16

My daughter's bassinet. (that I put together myself)
<3

Sick of sick

The train is moving fast
my chest is caving in
I can't run fast enough
you won't hold out your hand for me
running
running
running
running
I missed my stop
and you could care less.

<3

The Polaroid Project: day 15

Birdie fitted pt deux

Pregnancy update

So!
the date is set! on December 28, 2010 my daughter, Miette Aleksi, will be gracing us with her beautiful presence.  I have a scheduled cesarean section due to medical reasons. no I'm not in danger or anything, but a c-section is the best option for me.  I am insanely excited that my little lady will be here next month! so much happiness in my life.
<3

The Polaroid Project: Day 14

Boopup
<3

The Polaroid Project: Day 13

Frankenberry for the win!
<3

bass in ya face

Bassnectar is playing this Saturday at Terminal 5.
I suggest you take a gander, since my pregnant ass can't.



ear sex.

-random question:
why are people just discovering dubstep now?

The Polaroid Project: Day 12

Birdie fitted
<3

The Polaroid Project: Day 11

My boyf is ridiculously talented
<3

key words

aches
pains
love
belly
giant
affection
panic
Miette
waiting
verbatim
envy
confident
frightened
fat
overheated
lullabies
aches
pains
love

The Polaroid Project: Day 10

FG and Birdie
<3

the real.

have you ever felt like a train is rolling over your chest?  like you can't breathe and it just won't let up.  i feel like this almost always.  my nerves are shot from this pregnancy.  i'm constantly worrying that something is going to happen to Miette or to me and I won't be able to take care of her.  Meditation hasn't been working.  Migraines have started.  so horribly, that i can't even form words.  my fingers get numb.  and i lose my peripheral vision.  and i lose my lunch, as well.  just another thing to panic about.  I want nothing more than to be blissful with my daughter and just let things be put in god's hands.  it's never that simple with me.  i wish i could truly be a birdie and fly south to rejuvinate myself for like a week, and come back refreshed and free from worry.  i don't think that i'll ever be free from worry.  this is such a bummer of a blog update, but i needed a little ventilation.  deal with it.  i just need to breathe deep.

The Polaroid Project: Day 9

My new baby
<3

hween 10

here be a few halloween pics. didn't get many.  frankie and i were a white trash hillbilly couple.

we looked absolutely disgusting. :o)