Tuesday, June 8, 2010


It would be great to feel like I have real friends instead of just people that want to get drunk all the time. so in that case, they aren't there at all, since I don't want to slash can't party.
My soul mate lives so far and I've only seen her once in the past 4 years. and that visit was ruined bc of the pathetic person I was dating at the time, who couldnt handle me caring for someone other than him.
I've never felt so alone and I'm going through something so life altering. my family is amazing, which I'm so thankful for. but sometimes I need a friend. people don't even ask me how I'm feeling. I feel like I deserve better. I've definitely done some pretty horrible things in the past, but I've more than made up for them and have completely changed my life around. it's so sad when you literally tell people you need them and they still don't come through.
once I have the baby, everything will be fine. I know this. I just wish time would move a little faster.

1 comment:

  1. hey girl... i understand how you are feeling. having a baby is the biggest thing you can go through and even though your boyfriend and your family are going through it with you- you are the only one who REALLY is. When you feel that baby kick, only you will... and nothing else will matter. I had the WORST anxiety in my first trimester. I used to SOB and hyperventilate and regret everything and want my "life and freedom" back. Someone told me that once I feel that baby kick- nothing will put me in a bad mood. They were right. And my moods evened out and now the only thing that can REALLY put me in a bad mood is if I don't eat often enough! Everything else seems so... trivial (ok ill admit that I DO have only a 3 minute patience for anyone who is being argumentative with me). Enjoy your pregnancy, having your first baby will never happen again. You're a women, a goddess... you are built for this. You aren't alone, you have every woman who has ever been a mother by your side. And most importantly.. you have little bean. call me/text me if u ever wanna talk/vent. I'm already 31 weeks!